I know this is just a fun little graphic, and I know this is going to hit home for a lot of us so trust me when I say it's not something I necessarily want to dissect myself. I don't really want to take a deeper look at this for two reasons: first, because this might be offensive to friends and I have an embarrassingly deep wanting to receive affirmation from people who like what I do and, second, because some of the best of friendships that I have had in my life are resembled by this graphic, at least to a certain degree.
The first thing I want to question is why we're ok with forming relationships like this. I know that this is not the healthiest way to form relationships and I feel like it's not just me that feels this way. I suppose before we get any further I should clarify that I don't know to what extent these sarcastic and joking insults are ok. It's hard for me to take a position on tolerating them at all for myself, and yet it's had for me to say that there is never a place for it at all in personal relationships. I grew up not seeing it as harmful and I see how sarcasm can be used to make a point with emphasis but Jesus did say, "Let your yes be yes," didn't he? Is it really ok speak insincerely in any way, even when feigning annoyance or dislike? I'm not sure.
I expect the first counterargument to all this ruckus I'm raising is that it depends on who you're talking to. If I know someone well enough to the point that they know when I'm joking, it's no big deal. Maybe, but what if the comments are negative even if the intention is positive? First off, I'd say that's a huge risk to take because we can't know for sure that we're not feeding insecurities of our loved ones making them more self-conscious. After all, those we love most can hurt us the most, right? So joking with those people closest to us about how stupid they are might have more of an effect that we can see when they pretend to laugh it off.
The other day I was reminded about how what we do effects our own beliefs and outlooks. Pascal said:
"If we do not live the way we believe, then we will end up believing the way we live."
So not only could we negatively affect our family and friends through sarcasm and insults, but we can even change the light in which we see them. Without even noticing, we can develop a lack of empathy and a subliminal annoyance in ourselves toward those we treat with "playful" disrespect. This inevitably results in all sorts of problems to popping up in our relationships. You don't think it's true? Just ask my little brothers about my "playful jokes". I went from joking around, to picking on them to actually getting annoyed by more than half of the stuff they did. They didn't deserve it, but I had transformed myself into a highly efficient criticizing machine. Now I literally can't joke like that with them at all because it stirs years of built up anger. It's easy to assume somebody is going to just get over something when you're the one throwing the punches.
Now I realize that my situation is different since they are my brothers and I'm the older one, but a lot of times that's how friends are too. Some friends are able to dish it out but can't take it. Are you willing to risk ruining a relationship over not wanting to put the effort into being a positive and loving friend? That's the real point of this little piece. Of course, there are some people who can get along just fine with all this and I guess that's up to each of us. I just wanted to point out that I don't see this approach as a very loving way to go about making and maintaining friendships.
This probably hits home for everybody. I know it does for me, but I say it because I think it's important that we NOT be ok with where we stand as a society. Just type in sarcasm to a google image search and look at the plethora of memes to choose from. We obviously hold sarcasm and this style of friendship in high regard, but why? I'm just writing to challenge that notion, get 20 or so people thinking about it. The facts are: we're gonna mess up and I'm still not completely sure whether or not I think a little bit of sarcasm is ok to mix in with the rest of the humor in our relationships, but here is the point:
I think we ought to build up loving friendships instead of tearing down bland ones.
I think instead of being proud of ourselves, we should be ashamed that we treat family and friends the worst.
