What is this?

(This is my brief explanation of why the heck I started a stupid blog. It can always be found in the tab on labeled "What is this?" on the side.)


 I started this blog because I wanted to start a blog. Not a very good reason and I didn't even know what I wanted to talk about other than Catholic stuff. Yes, I'm Catholic and I'm not sorry...too much? I don't know. I'm new at this.

     I started actually doing some thinking when I needed a title though and I was going through various puns with latin words and random things that have to do with the. Church in general as well as specifically within the Mass. This is very sad and I found out that not only do I lack a certain creativity, but also that I have a super cheesy sense of humor. While this finding changed my self-image slightly, I also came upon an idea that, while extremely simple, forced me to take another look at my life from a different direction.

     I go to church. Yeah, every Sunday I'm usually at either St Elizabeth Ann Seton in Houston or St Mary's in College Station. I go to church and I take myself way to seriously. I go to church and sometimes/usually you can't tell that I do other than the 40daysforlife.com power band and wrist rosary I wear. I'm great with doing holy stuff at church and retreats but can my everyday acquaintances tell that I go to church? Can my professors? Can the people I wait in line behind? Can the people in the car next to me? Can anyone?

     Maybe...and I'm not ok with a "maybe". I want the Spirit to sink into the depths of my being and I want to radiate the light of truth that Christ is. I want to be overflowing with so much joy that everyone gets cheered up by being near me. I want to be so close to God that by merely being with people inspires personal conversion. Problem... I want that for me right now, not for God's glory.

     That's the problem with all of us who "go to church". That phrase has been watered  down so badly by sinners like me that it doesn't mean much anymore. I want my life to help change that.

     So what this blog is going to be (just "is", for those reading it in my future, which is the present for them, and both are God's present) is an ongoing collection of thoughts, experiences, references, annoyances, rants, opinions, people, problems, praises and prayers that I encounter and feel can offer something to you, the random reader (and probably my mom and her sisters who will get a kick out of this). It will most likely be very random to you, but I'm ADD. That's a good excuse right? I can't promise that it will be enjoyable, intelligent, poetic, controversial or even thought provoking but I'll do my best trying for all of those.

Peace,
Jacob

After All (Holy)

     One my favorite Christian artists is David Crowder and his newest album is super Catholic so I like him a lot more. It's written as a Requiem Mass (a Mass for the dead) and this might be the best song on it. It's meant as the Holy Holy Holy.

And here's him talking about it and teaching it. Lots of truth. I love Christian music and I'll probably post a lot of it on here but it's awesome and posting videos is super easy.

Hope you enjoyed it. 

Praise and Fear

     I'm one of the guys leading the Praise and Worship on a retreat about a month from now and I think that music is one of the greatest gifts of prayer that God has given me. I'm ADD so a lot of times when I'm praying I lose track of my thoughts and I end up just kind of starting my prayer back where I last remembered. Now, I realize that of course there's nothing terribly wrong with getting distracted and I'll always remember what Sr Celestina said once, "You know that God treasures every time you turn your attention back to Him in prayer." This is true, but I enjoy musical praise because it helps me to let go and get a grasp on how I can never get a grasp on the glory of God.

     Through music God can reveal Himself in the beauty of an instrument or a voice and through the truth found in lyrics. Recently, I have re-fallen in love with Matt Maher's song "Sing Over Your Children" and particularly the very beginning:

"My fear grips my faith,

And I am left unmoved."

     What a depressing part to choose right? But isn't there so much truth packed in there that all of us can relate to? There are a million things to say but I'll be quite brief.

Fear. It's what stops me from doing the right thing the majority of the time. It's what stops me from going out of my way to do good things (that and laziness). What are we so afraid of? Why does actually living in a different way than other people absolutely freak us out? I think it is the dumbest thing ever that I can't work up the courage to do something crazy out of the ordinary unless someone else is doing it with me. I'm frustrated that I can't do things without being in fear of judgment - and not judgement by someone by someone uncreated who matters, like um... God, but rather I prioritize petty judgements by ordinary created human beings.

"To fear is not cowardly; it is in our nature. To act in fear of human opinion 

rather than the Truth of God is the definition cowardly." 

 That's a quote by me, from just now...it might not actually qualify as a quote. I'm done.